Don't break your toe.. especially at Christmas

** Warning - contains whinging about, and x-rays of, broken bones **

Christmas Day was great. The kids loved their presents, they barely fought, and everyone loved the food.

Right as our last guests were leaving, seeing an opportunity to palm off some more ham, because getting stuck with heaps of ham would have been SO INCONVENIENT * rich seem of irony to be mined later *, I came barreling towards the front door, and directly into a solid steel doorstop. I did indeed, stop.

I felt as well as heard the crack, and while I had fractured toes before, including this one, this felt different. It would later tun out that yah, spiral fracture, quite a doozy actually, but proving that would prove to be difficult.



Every tried to get an X-ray on Christmas Day? How about crutches so you can get around? Its less than ideal. I could have gone to the emergency room, but as it wasn’t an ‘emergency’, it would probably have been New Years Eve by the time I saw someone.

Next problem: I cannot drive. My husband could drop me off and pick me up, which would include piling our now sugared up, and increasingly cranky kids, into the car, and back. That’s enough fun with kids in general, factor in Autism, and you’d rather break your toe again.

Enter: Uber. Thank you Mohammad, the delightful Uber driver that as it happened I got for the trip down AND back from the only open chemist, crutches in tow, who even pulled an illegal u-turn to pick me up right outside the chemist so I wouldn’t have to walk. You are a gift Sir.

In subsequent days, with a foot like fresh eggplant, I managed to get around pretty well (I ditched the crutches, after 4 near stacks it turned out that I’m not co-ordinated enough for crutches), and the pain was pretty minimal, even though my toe was pointing off to the right like a child seeing a carnival. The real sticky wicket was that while my husband was off for Christmas Break, we had planned, and purchased, a bunch of new furniture to work on our renovations. Queue a million boxes, hyperactive kids, and me forced to sit down. Sitting down sounds like a great choice, unless its your only one.

Duck Foot

Duck Foot

A blessing, in extremely painful surprise, came when I kicked my toe 3 days after breaking it. At this point I should mention that I had seen a doctor, confirmed the break, and seen a physio who had basically shrugged and said your toe is twisted, but there’s not much we can do besides surgery. Awesome.

As I was readying for bed, I kicked my husbands steel toed work boot. Direct hit, right on my toe. I saw Jesus. He says hi by the way. The pain was extreme, and much, much worse than the original break.

My toe swelled back up, I got some pretty fetch contouring on my other toes, and would you believe, my toe straightened back up. Not even kidding. While I don’t recommend extreme, and unsedated, manual force to reset a broken toe, it appears at least occasionally, effective.

A few weeks later, I’m walking normally, with only slight pain if I hit my toe wrong.

What can I take away from this?

  • I am SO very lucky to live in a country with Universal Healthcare. All in all, this cost me $30 for crutches, and $80 for a Physio visit. That’s it. Countries that don’t prioritise their Citizens health, need to get their **** together!

  • Stainless steel don’t play, so don’t kick it

  • Putting your body on the line to get rid of excess ham, MAY be ill advised

  • I cannot use crutches

  • My husband is a legend ❤️